literature

Chapter 1: PAGE 7

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Literature Text

As he walked into the classroom he noticed only a few familiar faces. The second thing he noticed was that while the classroom could fit easily three hundred students, there were less then twenty five -only 21 Dailon concluded after a quick head count- students in the room. This was odd for several reasons. The first being that it stood directly in line of efficiency which was one of the main factors in the Institute.
The other was that he knew none of those people, except Gaikor who rose last year to the rank of number one in the Sincara group and two others from that group. Considering that he had fought everyone at least once during the last year or watched them fight, this meant they could not be from their department.
Suspecting this might be another yet another test, though he could not imagine which kind, he masked any feelings in his face and casually walked towards the empty spot next to Gaikor.
“Interesting.” He simply said to his friend as he sat down next to him, giving a bearably noticeable nod that he knew only Gaikor would see and understand.
Over the years both got to know each other well enough during their training and adventures, that a simple nod was all that was needed between the two of them.
“Hmmm…” Gaikor said as a response, while pressing the tops of his tall, strong fingers against each other. Well perhaps not so much a vocal response as a soft hum, which meant that he was serious for once.
During the next twenty minutes, as they waited for the teacher to show up, they sat quietly next to each other, not saying a single word or even looking once at each other.
Saturday 29.03.2014

Page 7 is where things get started. We have learned a bit more about the institute and now things will get to be a bit more interesting. :) Next pages will cover the teacher and then some information about the white fortress will be given. :D

Question though: why are there only 21 people in this room? Anyone want to venture a guess?

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Kate-ColourTheory's avatar
I'm gonna say they've been hand-picked, possibly to fight each other until all but the absolute best are eliminated. ;)

Yes, now I can see things are starting to get interesting, and I like how you've portrayed Dailon and Gaikor [with just enough information to reel the reader in, but not so much that the reader is swamped in details; which, unless it's a style choice and suits the story or scene, can really slow things down].

The only things I could pick out were little [a couple repetitions, highlighted in brackets: Suspecting this might be [another] yet another test... As he walked into the classroom he noticed only a few familiar faces. The second thing [he noticed] was that while the classroom... And in this sentence: while pressing the [tops] of his [tall], strong fingers against each other... Maybe replace tops with tips, and tall with long? Otherwise I like this image; without knowing much about Gaikor, I think it suits him perfectly. :)

Keep writing. I think you're doing a fantastic job. :D